Jocelyn Biddle

Think Tank Day 5

2010-10-20T10:22:00.001-07:00

And a second paper. Again, for my Introduction to International Relations class.

IR 701

Concept Paper 2: Anarchy

Jocelyn Nicolas

Although today the term “anarchy” carries with it meanings and images of chaos, destructive disorganization, and catastrophe, within the study of International Relations it carries a simple, yet foundational, definition. Anarchy within International Relations simply denotes that there is no worldwide leader or universal government to dictate state interactions, mediate disputes, or enforce law. Rather than signifying disorder or conflict, it describes a world system built on sovereign, independent states with no central authority.

The word anarchy is derived from the Greek prefix “an-“ which means without, and the Indo-European root “arkh” which means to begin or to take the lead. The roots of this word literally mean “without a leader,” although in contemporary usage it has also come to signify the disorder that is bound with the absence of a leader. But within International Relations, it does not retain its definition of disorder, but merely of having no superior authority. (Roberts)

The concept of anarchy is absolutely foundation to the study of International Relations. Derived from the neorealist theories of International Relations, British scholar Hedley Bull claims that anarchy is “the central fact of the international system and the starting place for theorizing about it. (Roberts)” Within the neorealist view of International Relations, the nation-state is the primary actor and acts on its national interests, which usually conflict with other states’.

Kenneth Waltz describes neorealist International Relations as a “self-help” system: “With many sovereign states, with no system of law enforceable among them, with each state judging its grievances and ambitions according to the dictates of its own reason or desire – conflict, sometimes leading to war, is bound to occur. To achieve a favorable outcome from such a conflict, a state has to rely on its own devices, the relative efficiency of which must be its constant concern. (Roberts)”

Viewing the anarchic system through such a point of view, several state behaviors result. Nation-states must always be aware of the motives and capabilities of their neighbor in order to ensure that they are more powerful than potential threats. States are forced to hold security as their main interest due to the fact that other states look for opportunities to take advantage of others. Life in the anarchic system is characterized by competition and a constant possibility of war. (Lain)

While liberalism (especially neo liberalism) may admit that international politics is an anarchical system and that states are the key actors, they would argue that within such a system, war is not inevitable and that it can be minimized and prevented through cooperation and participation within international organizations. (Lain)

Feminist scholars are critical of the theory of anarchy, and although they too accept that anarchy exists, they question the meaning of nation-states and sovereignty in everyday life. They believe that anarchy is defined too heavily using masculine ideals and military solutions, excluding cooperative alternatives. (Roberts)

Constructivists are possibly one of the most severe critics of the anarchical system. Leading Constructivists, such as Nicholas Onuf and Alexander Wendt, claim that “anarchy is what we make of it. (Roberts)” They argue anarchy is not an independent constraint existing separately from the activities of the nation-states, but rather is the commonly accepted rules of the international system. Constructivists believe that everything is constantly in flux and thus theories and understandings of international relations must be contextual. (Roberts)

The theory of anarchy is completely dependent on the assumption of state sovereignty. But recently, voices have risen questioning the true extent of states’ sovereignty, if sovereignty is in the process of being compromised or reformulated, or even if sovereignty exists at all. Due to the lack of a central world government, leader, or set of laws, states are left to act as they see is best. This has led to conflict, and on the other end of the spectrum, humanitarian intervention. Such interferences in other states directly undermines the principles of sovereignty. In such cases, because there is no world governor to mediate situations, it seems often times decisions fall to the most powerful states.

While such instances challenge sovereignty and highlight the shortcomings of anarchy, the growth of globalization and the creation of powerful international organizations brings me to question if our world’s anarchical system may be on the brink of change. Such institutions as the UN, the ICC, and the World Bank are beginning to unite sovereign states in decision-making as well as creating and enforcing some of the first forms of international agreements.

Could these institutions mark the beginning of a new world system? Could their attempts at cooperative agreements be the beginning of international law? Or will we reside in the conclusion that a world system defined by anarchy is truly the best world order for our states to flourish within?

Works Cited

Lain, Sisi. "How does the Condition of Anarchy Shape International Politics?." Word Press 09 Nov. 2007: n. pag. Web. 19 Oct 2010. .

Roberts, James C. "Anarchy." The Internet Encyclopedia of International Relations. Web. .

Think Tank Day 4

2010-10-19T16:19:00.001-07:00

Below is my first paper for graduate school, written for my Introduction to International Relations Class.

Here's a peak into my education at BU:

IR 701

Concept Paper 1: Humanitarian Intervention

Jocelyn Nicolas

A heated topic of debate in International Relations today is that of humanitarian intervention. Alistair McMillan defines this act as, “entry into a country of the armed forces of another country or international organization with the aim of protecting citizens from persecution or the violation of their human rights. (McMillan)”

While the premise of this concept is understandable, holding the best interest of others in mind, the implementation of humanitarian intervention has international communities up in arms.

First, there is ambiguity in what defines a humanitarian crisis in need of such intervention. Humanitarian attempts have been heavily criticized all over the world for either unnecessary intervention, or lack of needed intervention, resulting in a hesitancy and heavy consideration process when determining whether to intervene in a given situation or not.

Co-chair of the ICISS, Gareth Evans, attempts to outline the criteria that justify military intervention in humanitarian crises: “There must be serious and irreparable harm to the human beings in progress or imminent: either large-scale loss of life due to deliberate state action, in action or inability to act, or large-scale ‘ethnic cleansing’ carried out not only by killing, but forced acts of terror or rape. (Kiplagat)”

Second, as the international community continues to see and react to humanitarian crises, the act of intervention, whether necessary or not, is deliberately challenging our international sovereign state system. One of the major principles that the concept of state sovereignty is based upon is that of non-intervention. But could there ever be a situation when it would be appropriate to break these rules? Countless interventions have spoken for themselves in that states around the world think there are necessary times to intervene in other states, but when is this appropriate? And does this international trend of interference mark the demise of state sovereignty? Some are even asking if sovereignty even exists at all, seeing as the rules are continually being broken.

Michael Itnatieff explores this dilemma with the concept of “lesser evils,” which in this case would be ignoring national and international law in order to prevent a greater evil. (Kiplagat)

The United States has received heavy criticism on the topic of humanitarian intervention, along with giant international actors that they are involved with, such as the UN. The United States, and increasingly so in recent decades, heavily emphasizes human rights. Efforts to protect the rights of humanity are reflected both in major US organizations and in the personal lives of US citizens. For example, the Human Rights Watch, which took root in the US 25 years ago, has now spread worldwide.

This very organization, however, has criticized the United States for unnecessary intervention in Iraq on the basis of humanitarian grounds. Kenneth Roth, the executive director of the Human Rights Organization said that, “such interventions should be reserved for stopping an imminent or ongoing slaughter. They shouldn’t be used belatedly to address atrocities that were ignored in the past.” (MacAskill) The Human Rights Watch regards war as a last resort and that in most cases conflict should have the approval of the United Nations Security Council, although they realize that this is not possible in all cases, such as Rwanda. A second criterion for intervention is whether war will improve life for the population being invaded. According to these principles, they do not condone the war in Iraq for humanitarian purposes.

On the other hand, the United States received heavy criticism for not taking a leading role in intervening in the Rwandan Genocide. Rather than arranging an intervention, US officials resorted to public statements, organizing a ceasefire and contacting the RPF and interim government behind the killing. The US did use its influence in the UN, although discouraging a “robust UN response,” but even the majority of that action came too late. France finally intervened, with the support of the UN Security Council, and is credited with saving tens of thousands of Tutsi lives. (Ferroggiaro)

Currently, similar humanitarian dilemmas are ensuing across the globe, challenging national and international leaders to make difficult decisions concerning intervention and challenging the very foundations that our international sovereign state system is founded upon. The conflict in Darfur is a perfect example of this struggle. But even more voices than past incidents have joined in the debate of how to appropriately respond to, now commonly referred to as, Darfur’s genocide. Survivors from recent humanitarian crises, such as The Holocaust and Rwanda, have spoken out to pressure governments to intervene in ways that they did not in previous, justified situations. Rwanda survivor Freddy Umutanguha spoke out during a “Day for Darfur,” saying, “In 1994, the world left Rwandans to their fate and a million people were murdered. Today, the world must stop genocide in Darfur. We survivors stand with the victims in Darfur. We know what it is like to lose our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters. We know what it is like to lose everything and see all who are dearest to us destroyed.” (Majendie) In the United States specifically, youth and young adults have also raised their voices to highlight such issues and to pressure our government to intervene in such crises, such as “The Invisible Children” organization.

Humanitarian Intervention, while attempting to offer life-saving and beneficent aid, remains a topic of heated controversy internationally. It will be interesting to see in the coming years whether the act of “unlawful” intervention will be harnessed by the international system, or if the international system will be forced to respond to a permanently justified form of humanitarian intervention. But for now, the debate continues.

Works Cited

Ferroggiaro, William. "The US and the Genocide in Rwanda 1994: Evidence of Inaction." National Security Archive 20 Aug. 2001: n. pag. Web. 7 Oct 2010. .

Kiplagat, Nirina. "Darfur and the case for intervention." Ploughshares Monitor 26.1 (2005): n. pag. Web. 7 Oct 2010. .

MacAskill, Ewen. "Iraq war unjustified says human rights group." guardian.co.uk 27 Jan. 2004: n. pag. Web. 7 Oct 2010. .

Majendie, Paul. "Global Protests Call for U.N. Intervention in Darfur ." Washington Post 18 Sep. 2006: n. pag. Web. 7 Oct 2010. .

McMillan, Alistair. "Humanitarian Intervention." Answers.com. Answers Corporation, n.d. Web. 7 Oct 2010. .

Think Tank Day 3

2010-09-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of school is going to be a big one - and the homework is piling to a very uncomfortable height.

I cannot be blamed, however, for my lack of completing my first three weeks of homework for my Introduction to International Relations class. My books are still lost in space, and all of the surrounding bookstores and libraries are sold out! I finally had such a breakdown last night that I overnighted it from a different internet source and will have it waiting at home for me when I get home from school today. I cannot tell you what a relief this is to me, but wouldn't have time to if I wanted because of the amount of reading I have to make up.

It's going to be a long week...

Almost as long as this day. On top of the two three-hour classes that keep me in the classroom until dinner time, I then am going to stop in on a quick intro to Chinese session on my way to meet Aaron at Barnes and Noble. We then are going to hop on a train to a Buddhist meditation center in order to catch the evening meditation session as an experience for me to write my first paper on in my International Relations and Religion course.

My morning was dedicated to packing both lunch and dinner to carry us through our entire day in Boston. Our bed is going to feel very soft tonight.

Think Tank: Day 2

2010-09-15T14:17:00.001-07:00

Religion is a very personal subject. Although a level of tolerance accompanies maturity, voices are quick to defend what they believe because each mouth speaks from a heart who believes with their whole heart that their beliefs are in fact true. And those who hold no religious beliefs are often very opinionated anyways.

And thus I am realizing that my "Religion and International Relations" class is going to be a very interesting one. It is only our first week discussing the material and already debates and discussions were raging more than any IWU class I've taken. Lines were not crossed, and everyone handled the topics at hand properly, but this is only just the beginning.

I've thoroughly enjoyed the topics that we have been reading up on for this course. So far we have loosely covered the origins of International Religions, the coming about of statehood, and how many International professionals deliberately chose to ignore the role of religion in our world's culture, politics, and economics until of late. My favorite concept, however, is that of the "secularization theory," stating that as we progress in modernity, we also will progress in secularization (the demise of religions, etc...). But just very recently, many of the originators of this very theory have recanted their position and now are stating that we are currently in a period of "desecularization," where world religions, very traditional ones at that (not affected or compromised by modernity) are experiencing a surprising and unexplainable resurgence. Huh... imagine that.

I love it.

For the first time in my life I am struggling through these concepts with peers who do not share my background and beliefs - at all. Each hand that is raised does not merely bring an opinion of merely a different theological background, but an entirely different ethnic, cultural, and religious background. It is beautiful and it is very different.

I am eager to continue on with this course's readings and hopeful that I will finally receive my books in the mail for my other course. Needless to say, I am a little behind. :)

A Success Worth Sharing

2010-09-13T18:43:00.001-07:00

This week I decided to try out a recipe I found for Sweet Potato & Black Bean Chili. It sounded delicious and is delightfully good for you. It was a smashing success, to say the least, and I highly recommend it to all.

Sweet Potato & Black Bean Chili

"A rich, dark and flavorful combination of our favorite Southwestern flavors. It also doesn't hurt that sweet potatoes and black beans both make the cut as superfoods." (As described on Eatingwell.com

2 Servings, 2 cups each

Active Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 30 minutes

INGREDIENTS

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, finely diced
1 small sweet potato, peeled and diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon ground chipotle chile, (see Note)
1/8 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1 1/3 cups water
1 15-ounce can black beans, rinsed
1 cup canned diced tomatoes
2 teaspoons lime juice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

PREPARATION

Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and potato and cook, stirring often, until the onion is slightly softened, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, chipotle and salt and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add water, bring to a simmer, cover, reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the potato is tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Add beans, tomatoes and lime juice; increase heat to high and return to a simmer, stirring often. Reduce heat to maintain a simmer and cook until slightly reduced, about 4 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in cilantro.

NUTRITION

Per serving: 374 calories; 6 g fat (1 g sat, 4 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 67 g carbohydrates; 14 g protein; 15g fiber; 699 mg sodium; 603 mg potassium.

Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (410% daily value), Vitamin C (45% dv), Iron (30% dv), Potassium (17% dv).

312 Carbohydrate Serving

Exchanges: 4 starch, 1 1/2 vegetable, 1 fat

The only change that I made to this recipe is that I left out the lime juice and cilantro (not by choice, but just for lack of groceries). Instead, we added a finishing touch of flavor with melted mozzarella on top and a dollop of sour cream. It was outstanding!

Enjoy!

Charisma House proudly presents...

2010-09-12T16:53:00.001-07:00

The Jack Duvall

"The Man with the Golden Arm" EP

(Cody Michael Nicolas)

Released August 23, 2010 @ Jaho Coffee and Tea in Salem, MA

Over the past month, Charisma House has joined its efforts and donated its space to the recording of The Jack Duvall's debut EP, "The Man with the Golden Arm." I had the honor of recording vocals and a Cambodian pipe on the EP, as well as creating the album art with my husband, Aaron James Nicolas.

Listen for yourself at: www.myspace.com/thejackduvall

First Day in the Think Tank

2010-09-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

I awoke at 5:15 a.m., spiffed up, had breakfast with my husband and the Lord, boarded the commuter rail, traveled the subways, and arrived at my first class, Introduction to International Relations, at 9 a.m.

And thus begins my graduate education. In Boston.

I had orientation a week ago, and Aaron and I simply sat shaking our heads at the unbelievable credentials that spilled forth as my department's professors introduced themselves to the present students. To say that I am surrounded with some of the most brilliant minds in my field would be an understatement. It seems all of my leaders have already lived more than successful careers and have settled into a happy retirement of challenging the young minds of those who will someday, hopefully, be their successors. C.I.A. retirees, ambassadors, international experts, historians, and Congressional advisors are just a few of whom I will be learning from. Michael Corgan, my first professor this morning, after a full and successful navy and teaching career at the top military schools in the nation, served as the top military advisor (I may be slightly sketchy on that exact title) to the top leaders in Iceland.

Professor Corgan is excellent and I am already excited and hungry for the elevated level of talent and expertise that I have the priveledge of sitting through this semester.

I am off to Professor Prodomou next (Religions and International Relations), whom I first met with on my visit in December, who it is safe to say is one of my idols. She is the head of my specific field of study: International Relations and Religion, and reports and advises Congress on how to deal with religious injustices around the world, among many other very important things. She is incredible.

My classmates represent most of the world. Americans are definitely in the minority. It is excellent! So many different ethnicities and religions are openly represented - I am eager to learn alongside such individuals.

And it is refreshing to finally see the final piece of my fall life schedule fall into place. Work is balancing out with nine hour opening shifts almost every day that I am not at Boston U (which is only Wednesdays). Aaron and I are fighting to protect our Sundays - our Sabbath and day off - which I only continue to learn of its importance as I progress in life.

Things are good. Moral is high. And I am enjoying my first day in the city, finally fully submerged in my "Think Tank."

Home Sweet Home

2010-09-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

A Husband and Wife's "9 Crimes"

2010-09-03T18:35:00.001-07:00

My Food Weekly

2010-08-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

Since taking on the title of "wife," one role that I have been surprisingly delighted with is the role of cooking. I have found that I love seeing how far I can stretch our extremely limited grocery budget and how creatively I can combine ingredients to yield a delectable outcome.

I have been pleased to find myself already getting in somewhat of a "routine" in my weekly grocery planning and producing. It is as follows:

-Theme meat of the week, which serves as the base of 2 or 3 meals

-A supplementary meal or two using basic ingredients (tuna melts, grilled cheese, pasta, etc...)

-Things for lunch (eggs for egg salad, salad, etc...)

- Always potatoes on hand

- The usual (butter, bread, eggs, cereal, etc... )

-A fruit option or two for the week

- A baked good for the week

This has become my basic plan of attack. Sundays are when Aaron and I enjoy our Sabbath, or day of rest for the week, and I have enjoyed using this day to prepare our food for the week. Often times I will make the egg salad for the week or brew the week's homemade iced tea. But this has allowed me time to indulge in one of my favorite new things: baking.

Since being employed at Jaho Coffee & Tea, I am surrounded by delicious muffins and baked goods, so have made it a part of our weekly food intake to have muffins or the like worked into our meals for each week. Last week, with the help of my kitchen aid (AMAZING), I made my personal favorite: banana chocolate chip muffins! (Thank you Bethany for the amazing recipe)

This week I took the healthier route and made some "Healthy Apple Blueberry Muffins." They turned out great, and are full of awesome and nutritious ingredients, so I thought I'd share the recipe with you all!

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup of brown sugar

2 tsp. baking powder

1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. allspice

1/8 tsp. salt

1 egg

1 cup of all natural applesauce (no sugar added)

1/2 tsp. vanilla

1 medium apple, peeling on, shredded

1/2 cup blueberries

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease Muffin Pan/ Put liners into muffin pan.

In medium bowl, mix together the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, allspice, and salt. Set aside.

In a small bowl, beat the egg with a fork. Stir in the applesauce and vanilla.

Add tot he dry ingredients and stir until moistened. The batter will be kind of lumpy. Fold in the shredded apple and blueberries.

Spoon into muffin cups/ pan until they are 2/3 full.

Bake for 20 minutes until golden or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

These muffins are so good and so good for you!! I highly recommend them. They made my husband a very happy boy :)

Life is steadily moving towards a schedule.

2010-08-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I spent the day in Boston today - doing everything we needed for my first semester of graduate school: scheduling classes, changing my name in the system, getting my I.D. card, etc...

Scheduling has worked out very much in my favor. This fall,

both of my classes will be on Wednesday, so I only will have to commute into the city once a week, and it is one of the three days that Aaron will commute as well!

Aaron and I were talking today about how crazy it is that literally overnight, with the new label of marriage, we begin a life on our own, laden with full-fledged responsibilities that we have never before carried. Providing our own full income, setting up school, paying bills, having meetings at banks, having my name legally changed... etc, etc...

Groceries, for instance, are much more of a burden than I had anticipated! I love cooking and experimenting, I am finding more and more, and I do not want to shed negative light on this new role in my life, because I love trying to get creative within my budget and to provide for my husband in that way. But I find myself thinking about food all the time, keeping a constant check on what we are running low on, what I could combine for meals next week - and it is a lot!

But I really would have it no other way. More shocking than the load of new responsibilities is to watch us successfully learn to manage them. As I was being handed my student I.D. card for Boston University today, it finally hit me that I am fully and successfully enrolled in graduate school and I that I navigated the entire process by myself! The responsibilities are rewarding, to say the least.

Anyways, the days are waning towards a schedule, and thank God my Wednesday commute will leave the rest of my week wide open for Turbo classes and lots of work at Jaho.

CHARISMA HOUSE has been bustling with activity. Kameron, Aaron's friend from MI, had an audition at the Berklee College of music this past week and stayed in Charisma house with his two friends for a few days.

Aaron turned our room into a recording studio for a day, and the moved the studio to Cody and Bryan's room to begin recording "The Jack Duvall" E.P., which will be wrapping up soon! The past two days Aaron and I have contributed vocally and musically to this project. It has been very refreshing and exciting.

Looking up from the bottom of the ladder

2010-08-13T12:58:00.001-07:00

One of the most glaring differences Salem has introduced into my life is the concept of starting from scratch.

Having spent my entire life in Mansfield, I now realize how well I knew Mansfield, and how well Mansfield knew me. Getting jobs were easy. My reputation was already in line. There weren't many new people to meet.

But here, my name does not precede me. In fact, my name isn't even know. I really could count my acquaintances on my fingers if I wanted to.

And as much as it seems a daunting situation, it is strangely invigorating.

I started my new job on Wednesday. I work at an amazing local coffee and tea company: Jaho.

With two locations in Salem, it's extensive menu, Gelato and exquisite latte art has really given the corporate coffee shops a run for their money.

And I love it.

There's a lot to learn, and I'm sure it will be quite some time before I tackle the espresso machine, but I love going to work, I lo

ve the people, I love the challenge.

Salem is such a unique little place. It is a tourist town to the bone - with trolleys perusing the town and full-blown witch trial reenactments every weekend taking over the streets. The faces I come into contact with at Jaho every day are either every-single-day-regulars or from another continent. (I speak from experience when I say that difficult accents can lead to embarrassing moments)

I'm definitely the newbie - and I end each of my shifts trying to squeeze my name into as many upcoming time slots as possible - but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my availability throughout this coming school year will aid in the extension of my hours.

A blank canvas for a new future

2010-08-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

Beginning on July 23, 2010, the day I married the love of my life, every aspect of my life has completely changed.

I have always resided in the same small city. I have many old friends, am surrounded by my family, been faithful to the same church... So to say that my recent changes have had a strong presence would be quite the understatement.

In the past three weeks my status has changed, along with my name, my home and residence, my occupation, my school, my roommates and my responsibilities.

I am now a married woman, carrying the name "Jocelyn Nicolas," living in Salem, MA alongside my husband and intentional community and soon will be attending Boston University. My days are filled with buying groceries, pinching pennies and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning...

But the change is so good, and everyday I am reminded that I am blessed immeasurably.

So, here is my blank canvas. Here is my fresh start. This truly is the beginning of the rest of my life.

And things are going well! We both recently found jobs: Aaron at Forever 21 and I at a local coffee shop called "Jaho Coffee and Tea" and leading Turbo Kick at the local YMCA.

After our first week in Salem, we are finally starting to really feel moved and settled in. We have chosen to begin our life by living in Charisma House: an intentional community started last summer, when Aaron and his brother first began this whole adventure. Charisma House is composed of my brother-in-law, Cody Nicolas, Bryan Bull of Grant, MI, and Brian Lepire from around these parts. The company has been a great blessing- we can already see that there are going to be innumerable opportunities for good, growth, and betterment as a result.

This is the setting that our story will be staged to; this is where it all starts. Things are already moving quickly and we continue to eagerly anticipate all that is soon coming. And although we miss our friends and families immensely, we have never before been so confident that we truly are in the center of God's will.

Here we go!

A Long Distance Relationship in Review

2010-07-01T11:21:00.001-07:00

Aaron James Nicolas left Indiana Wesleyan University after the fall of 2008. Following the leading of the Lord, we faced a change in our relationship that not many choose to face: distance.

Looking back on it now, about a year and a half later, I have no idea how we faced the indefinite distance which initially held no promise of an end. The first months were bearable, with only 5 1/2 hour drives keeping our Ohio and Michigan homes separate, but that luxury soon was lost when Aaron continued in his journey to Salem, MA.

Over the past year we have seen each other an average of every two months. And interesting results have been produced from such unfavorable circumstances.

I have been very emotional. There were many days when I had no desire to be around other people because my need for my boyfriend/fiance would continually go unfulfilled. Tensions were more easily sparked than if we were physically together. Trust was tested. Faithfulness proved. Closeness intentionally strived for and preserved.

We could not merely "hang out": rather, talking was our only option. But we never have run out of things to say. Intimacy could only be achieved through communication. Cell phones dying or being misplaced were not only a frustration, but would prevent connection for a day. And a day without emotional closeness only exaggerated the distance.

Days were verbally recounted rather than experienced together. There were many lonely mornings, days, nights... Every special event was spent wistfully thinking of how much better it could have been shared with the other. Lives were lived apart. Decisions made apart. Birthdays, holidays, events experienced apart.

Yet here we are - after seemingly unending spans of separation, we are sitting four days away from the rest of our lives. Aaron flies to Ohio July 6 and we never will have to be apart again.

The challenges will be over. But challenges alone are not all that our distance has yielded. Aaron and I's love and commitment has been proven: even while living apart, we have learned that we cannot live without each other. We have been trained to talk and communicate about everything. We have learned to dismiss conflict quickly in order to avoid the devastation of its lingering. We have no secrets. Our love is independent of physically being together. And our faith in the Lord has grown to an indisputable belief that God's will prevails even through the impossible.

We did it. We took on something not knowing the difficulties it entailed and now sit at the end of the road, eagerly awaiting the jubilee that has been long promised. And looking back over the relationship, there is nothing I would have changed. Even at the lowest of our valleys, I would not have changed learning to rely on communication; learning to depend on the Lord; learning the ins and outs of each other; and realizing the depths of our love.

A Year of Waiting

2010-06-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

My fiance, Aaron James, moved to Salem, MA at the beginning of August 2009 in order to attend the Berklee School of Music in Boston. This not only introduced the two of us to the hardest span of distance that our relationship would see, but also plunged us into an intense time of waiting and watching the Lord work in... well, strange ways.

Aaron, his brother Cody, and their uncle, traveled to Boston together. (Cody also attends the Berklee School of Music) They left in a leap of faith, following the call of God and the promise of provisions - specifically that of a home and place to live. Well... the boys began their life out east sleeping in their suburban, living at campgrounds, and jumping in and out of hotels. For a short time, they were able to stay with their uncle at a military base. But they could not find a place to stay.

During this time, Aaron felt led by the Lord to get his real estate license, and a few months later got a job at a local firm.

After feeling somewhat jerked around and lost, they made an offer on a house (this was not the first pursued). Although the offer did not make it very far, the boys entered into an unusual agreement to rent the house, while it was on the market, for a very affordable rate - one that could not be matched anywhere else in Salem.

God put a roof over the boys' heads in an unpredicted way while they attended school that year, but they never had security and could have been booted out if anyone else wanted to purchase the home in which they lived in.

On Aaron's last day of school, in the beginning of May 2010, Aaron received an eviction notice because his landlord had gone into foreclosure. The boys had 90 days to figure out the next step. In the past few months, and growing ever closer to Aaron and I's wedding and my move to Salem, Aaron has looked at countless houses and apartments, all of which there has been something seriously wrong with or we have been denied for bizarre reasons.

Aaron and I booked his plane ticket to come to Mansfield until our wedding for July 6. Our time was running out. There were so many houses that we have tried to purchase and apartments that we have applied for that have been denied to us unexplainably. Our offers were simply not accepted, although they were made in full, we have good credit, etc...

There was nothing more we could do to secure a place to live. It was completely out of our control.

When Aaron and I get married, we have chosen to live in community. There will be five of us living together when I first get to Salem, which will grow to seven in January. This has added another challenge in finding a place to live that can accommodate all of us - especially an apartment. But that was becoming our only option because of how little time we had before the wedding... and before eviction.

And then something worked. After innumerable opportunities' doors blatantly being slammed shut over and over again, something worked. We were offered to rent month-to-month (rather than a long-term lease) a 3-bedroom apartment in the safe part of Salem for an affordable rate. I couldn't believe it! It was going to be cozy, and the slanted ceilings of the third-floor apartment made it a little more difficult to take advantage of all of the space, but nonetheless, a door was open. We decided to take it, although it was small, and a few days later were offered to move to the bigger apartment downstairs. I cannot tell you what it feels like not only to have something work after all this time, but then for something good to happen on top of it! We also will have basement space so that we do not have to rent a storage unit for our current refrigerator, washer and dryer, etc...

This is an extremely abbreviated story of the past year of our lives. But it is amazing for a number of reasons.

First, it's amazing that it is over. I cannot tell you the relief of knowing I have a place to live when I move in a few weeks, and that it is nice! And in a safe part of town, and big enough to house five of us comfortably.

Second, it's amazing how God works. God promised, when Aaron followed his call to Salem/Boston, that he would provide. Did it look anything like we thought? Of course not, and we probably should have known that. We thought God's provision was going to come in the form of buying a house - and maybe someday it will be - but the Lord got Aaron and his roommates into a CHEAP, strange, under-the-table renting agreement that kept them housed for exactly as long as they needed. God perfectly timed it so that Aaron could focus on school, and the day that phase was over, the housing search resumed full-force.

And God provided in other ways too. When Aaron decided to get his real estate's license, it seemed out of nowhere. Of course, it couldn't hurt- but that is never what Aaron had dreamed of doing one day. And look at how we have needed it! Not only is it a wonderful job now, but without Aaron's knowledge and work in real estate, I have no idea how we would have survived the past year of our lives.

Third, God's timing is perfect. Even during the school year, Aaron and his parents had continued looking and pursuing houses, but I am telling you- doors were closed for the strangest reasons! SO many times! Doors were closed so much and for so long, that recently we asked the Lord if we were even supposed to be in Salem, or if we were supposed to live in community- both things that we have felt strongly convicted in for quite some time.

But the Lord protected us from purchasing the wrong places, and kept us waiting just until the perfect apartment opened up for us. And he has continued to provide since in amazing ways.

This has been a very stressful year and I have learned even more that I can always trust the Lord, and that sometimes it can be a very scary thing. But his plan and provision is perfect! And this miracle of a house is just the beginning of an adventure-filled life with Aaron that I have a feeling will never get boring. And that's just the way I would have it.

Also, it is amazing to have watched my future husband follow the Lord so faithfully for so long, and through such a challenging time. He has worked harder than anyone else I know to secure a home for his wife and community, and I learn more and more everyday how blessed I am to have him.

It only happens once!

2010-06-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of a hurricane of wedding activities! Thankfully, we pretty much have all of the big things done - I brought home my wedding dress yesterday, the bridal party attire is pretty much complete, locations are set and Aaron's wedding ring is almost finished! - but of course there is always SOMETHING to do! We're getting down to the nitty gritty...

But we are also getting into the fun!! My third bridal shower was Sunday, and these parties have unveiled to me another overwhelming aspect of my wedding adventure.

Friends' and families' support. It is overwhelming! I have neve

r before experienced so many of those close to me surrounding me and celebrating with me in

such a way!

Friends and family members are pouring out their love, time, planning, money

and gifts in order to help make this time in my life all that I could have ever dreamed of!

The showers have been beautiful and so much fun! Aaron and I are receiving so many things that are going to make our transition into our new home fun, exciting and comfortable!

I cannot voice how

appreciative I am of all that everyone is doing for us. It truly is overwhelming and I have been very humbled.

Thank you all for making my wedding experience truly a dream! I love you all so much and can't wait for what is to come!

(My first shower was thrown by college friends at IWU, the second by my Aunt Anne, and the third in Ashland by my Aunt Cristy)

Sing for Company's Final Release and Big Announcement!

2010-06-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

As announced on the Sing for Company Website :

After journeying together for nearly their entire lives, it seems distance has finally forced its way between Jocelyn and Olivia.

Amid their success and love for each other and their music, Olivia and Jocelyn are announcing an official break from the band that they have so faithfully pursued for three years. Although dedicated to this pursuit, commitments to their education, relationships and other areas of their lives have grown in their demand to a point that Sing for Company is forced to turn their attention away from their music for the time being.

That being said, Sing for Company would like to couple the announcement of an end with the joy of a new start. Jocelyn of Sing for Company has joined The La De Les. Jocelyn will join current members Aaron Nicolas, Cody Nicolas and Sara Wilson in Salem, MA in order to continue in their journey already started.

Jocelyn and Olivia could not be more thankful for the experiences they have shared through Sing for Company. They could not have asked to have met more wonderful people or had the opportunity to share their music in a better way than those that were provided for them. They would ask now that current friends and fans turn and offer their support to Jocelyn and The La De Les as their pursuit of music continues.

Olivia is currently heading into her third year at Wittenburg University studying Biology and Music with a focus on pre-dental. After achieving her Bachelor’s degree, Olivia plans to continue on to dental school. She currently resides in Springfield, OH where she is taking classes towards her future full-time.

Jocelyn recently graduated from Indiana Wesleyan University with a B.S. in International and Community Development. She will be married to the love of her life, Aaron James Nicolas, in July of this summer, and move to Salem, MA immediately. Jocelyn will begin a Graduate program at Boston University this fall studying International Relations and Religion. She will be pursuing life with her husband, music with The La De Les, her Master’s degree and teaching Turbo Kick aerobic classes.

View the "Chapter Torn Out" music video at Sing for Company

Sweet New Beginnings

2010-06-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

I am in a time of transition. Of course we all encounter these in our lives, but I have found myself right in the middle of the biggest transition I will probably ever experience.

I graduated with my Bachelor's degree from Indiana Wesleyan University on May 1. I can't believe my time there is finished! The old cliche of "It goes so fast..." has proven more true than I realized.

Currently I am back home: in shock that the hurricane of college is over and eagerly anticipating all that is to come in the near future!

I am going to be married on July 23 of this year! Aaron James (my fiance) and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over a year now, and the thought of finally being together is the most overwhelming and wonderful feeling I have ever experienced.

After our honeymoon cruise on Norwegian's "The Epic," I will immediately be packing and moving to Salem, MA. Newly married and away from... well... everyone and everything.

In MA I will be continuing my education at Boston University studying International Relations and Religion. I also will be teaching Turbo Kick classes and being an active member of my (recently joined) band: The La De Les!

Life is good. And changing quickly! That is why I decided it would be a very good time to finally buckle down and commit to recording my thoughts, adventures and experiences in my blog.

So here's to life and adventures, soon to spill over these internet pages. Here goes nothing!

Day 27 and 28

2009-05-26T08:49:00.001-07:00

Today was the prison ministry day! We had a long 2 ½ hour drive through the Thailand mountains and finally arrived in a different province. It was so beautiful! We were next to a body of water and there were palm trees and mountains all around! It felt like we were in Florida or Hawaii rather than Thailand!

The prison was crazy. We breezed through several gates and soon were in walking around among the inmates. We had guards with us, but only two or so, and none of them were armed in any way. Honestly, it was a little scary. I have never even been inside an American prison, let along a Thai men’s prison! And the fact that Ashley and I were American girls meant that a lot of the inmates were quickly aware that we were there.

There was a Thai pastor and three Thai students who Tutu, Eric, David, Ashley and I went along with. We all were seated in the front of a old-fashioned partially outdoor schoolroom. The inmates who wanted to attend our little “service” quickly filed in.

I am not going to lie- I have never been so intimidated in my life. Ashley, Eric and I each prepared a little message to give to the men, but I felt so inadequate to speak to a room of men, who were older than I was and had definitely experienced a lot more than I had in my easy-breezy American life so far… What do you say to a group like that?! There were about 20 of them in the little class room, but many more working out or hanging out outside the room were paying attention most of the time as well.

The Thai students began by leading a few Thai worship songs (after we introduced ourselves) and my fears began to melt away as I watched some of the prisoners passionately worship Jesus.

After the Thai students got done leading some songs, Eric, Ashley and I sang two worship songs in English. We each prepared a small 5-10 minute sermon/sharing from the Bible. Eric and Ashley both shared with a salvation theme. I shared out of Philippians. I explained how Paul was a successful man, but counted everything as a loss compared to knowing Christ. He also went through very difficult times once coming to know Christ, but Paul writes about forgetting the past and looking forward to the promises he has for us. It went extremely well- a lot better than I could have imagined. They were all very appreciative and open and very glad that we were there.

We went to the women’s side of the prison next. On the way over we were told that we didn’t have as much time compared to the men’s side, and that we shouldn’t share what we had prepared, it was too long. When we got there, on the spot they just asked us to sing a song. After the first song, we were told we had more time, so we sang another. Then, Tutu asked me to share my testimony. So, I got up and was about to share what I had prepared, but she said no, just to share my testimony. Out of a room of about 50 women, only 2 in the front were Christians. She said they just wanted to know about my life, so just talk about my life in the United States to them. So… completed unprepared and mad at Thai culture once again… J I just prayed! This was a time when God could have the spotlight because I had absolutely no idea what to say! I just talked about my life in the states, my hobbies, school, what I want to do… and I’ve found that there is just no way to talk about my life without saying something about God. I’ve never really felt that I have had much of a “testimony”. Especially compared to the women in the prison, I have not gone through any horrible things in my life. But God has blessed me so much and been so consistent in sustaining me throughout my life that it was incredible to be able to share with the women the love I have for the lord and what role he plays in my life. The two Christian women up front were really excited to hear me say those things and I pray that it was of some encouragement to the other women as well. When I got done, Ashley was asked to do the same kind of thing, and she did a great job of thinking on her feet J

Honestly, being in the prison with those people was a really new experience for me, but God works in ways that we do not even know and I just pray that maybe something unplanned was accidently said that will plant a seed that we probably will never know about.

Day 28

Today Ashley and I went to Thai cooking school! This was so much fun! I loved it! We learned how to cook Pad Thai, spring rolls, cashew chicken stir-fry, Hot and sour soup with shrimp, green curry, and sweet sticky rice with mango! They were all made from scratch and all the most incredible recipes I have ever tasted! After preparing each dish in our outdoor kitchen stations, Ashley, I and two guys from New York would sit and eat our dishes! It was awesome because the food was incredible and I was so proud that I had actually made it!! We took a break half way through the course and the lady, Yui, took us on a tour of the market and showed us what everything was and how to recognize and pick out ingredients! She was so fun and so kind and made it an incredible day. It was an awesome way to get more familiar with Thai culture.

Kaillie, the other intern, came to Thailand today and we got to catch up with her and visit the kids at Doi Saket Orphanage 1. So fun… but tomorrow is our last day! Crazy…

Day 26

2009-05-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today was church! We got up early and all gathered at the Doi Saket 1 orphanage. We didn’t have any specified role in the service today, but when I was least expecting it, someone leaned over and asked me to get up and play a piano song on the spot during the offering! Thank the Lord that I have a musical background! J

After church we had a pretty relaxing afternoon at Tutu’s house. We practiced our music for the prison ministry on Monday, but other than that just rested up.

Ashley, David, Eric and I went to the Walking Market again tonight. It was a lot of fun just spending time with friends. I love our friends in Thailand J David cracks me up- we have so much fun laughing with him!

Day 25

2009-05-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

I spent the night at the orphanage last night, so I woke up and immediately was with the kids. It is crazy how hot it is, even early in the morning!

Even though the language barrier can get annoying, it is still so easy to love and spend time with these kids. We just hung out throughout the morning. Ashley had to oversee the kids write their sponsors cards. I helped some of the little ones decorate theirs :)

Pretty much for the rest of the day we just prepared for the nursery kids' graduation party in the evening. We blew up balloons, made banners, made party hats, made a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game, and got their gifts ready. Of course there was a lot of time throughout the afternoon that we spent just hanging out with the kids.

Finally, the little ones had to go eat dinner and we started decorating the nursery for the party! We hung the balloons and the game and the banner that read "Congratulations!". We turned on party dance music and soon the kids walked in with eyes big and smiles on their faces! They all immediately started dancing, it was so cute!

We gave them all their party hats first, then painted temporary tattoos on them, which they loved! We helped them make cross necklaces too :) They were all so excited. Then we ate DELICIOUS chocolate cake and gave the kids juice. It was then time to play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. They were so cute. They really tried to help each other put it in the right place, it was funny. Then we finished by giving the kids' their gifts!

Each kid got their new outfit that Ashley's mom sent money for earlier in the week. Then we gave the four graduating kids new pencil cases with pencils and erasers, new cups, new spoons, gum and toothpaste. They were so excited. I think sometime this week they will move into the "big kid" dorms! It will be a really big adjustment for them to make.

We finished off the night watching Aladdin in Thai :)

It was a very good day. I had so much fun!

Day 24

2009-05-22T21:15:00.001-07:00

This morning we found a snake in Tutu’s bedroom! Without knowing it, it had been at my feet the whole time I had been praying this morning. Aaron pointed out the crazy metaphor J.

Ashley and I spent the morning baking a double chocolate cake for the nursery kid’s graduation party tomorrow! I am so excited for that!

After the cake, we went back to Tutu’s and helped load all of the instruments into the cars to take to the orphanage for the big concert tonight.

The concert went well J Before the concert, all the kids spent time in worship. Then Zack and his friend did really well and started the concert off with some popular love songs. It was so good and so fun! The kids got to eat cookies and got Coke during the songs.

Eric, Ashley, Zack, Daniel, his girlfriend, and I all played in one big band. We played severl upbeat worship songs. The kids were so cute- dancing around and everything! It was really fun, but challenging to communicate through the whole preparation process. I was frustrated because we could have been a lot better prepared, but because of the mis commnications and such, we didn’t get to practice barely at all.

After the concert, Ashely and I went into Doi Saket and got my favorite Thai dessert- Roti!!! Mmmm!!! It was so good!

I am staying overnight at the orphanage tonight! Tomorrow is a big day of preparation for the party and playing with the kids! I can’t wait!

Day 22 and 23

2009-05-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today we got up and went with Ashley and David up one of the mountains to visit the main

pagoda in Chiang Mai- Doi Set Hep. It was beautiful and the statues and architecture are breathtaking, but this was the first temple that we actual observed people worshipping in. We had to take our shoes off to go up to the actual place of worship and it was surreal. There were

groups of people meeting with monks and making first time

commitments along with countless others who were carrying flowers and incense around, bowing to the idols. It was so crazy. I really didn’t know what to think.

In the afternoon we hopped in the back of the truck and road through the mountains for an hour to go to Wiang Pa Pao, the widow’s farm. It is so beautiful there! It is a farm growing corn, lychee fruit, other fruit, pigs, chickens, fish and more! The widows live there, help with farming and sew bags and purses to sell as a type of micro-enterprise. Tutu said that in the future they want to look into planting a certain kind of tree that attracts silk worms so that the widows can

make silk as well!

When we got there, we watched them kill and slaughter a pig for us to eat and to take back for the orphans. Talk about fresh meat! It was delicious.

The farm provides food for the orphanages. It doesn’t completely feed the kids, but helps cut down the price of food a lot for Asia’s Hope.

We spent a hot, bug-filled night, wonderful night at the farm, then headed back home the next afternoon, but not without praying first. There is a big need for support for this farm. The farm does so much for Asia’s Hope by providing food for the orphanages, a place for the widows to live and support themselves, and eventually- they want to have an orphanage there too! Some of the widows actually have orphans

that stay at other Asia’s Hope orphanages, so it would be awesome to possibly move them out to be w/ their moms! Please pray that support would be raised to pay for this farm!

We got back home in the afternoon and Ashley and I went in to the orphanage to play with the kids and help them with their homework. The language barrier is so difficult for me! I have even taken a course in teaching English as a secondary language, but was completely unable to help a girl with her English homework! It has definitely been the hardest part about this trip.

Ash and I went to the store to pick up some party supplies for four of the nursery students’ graduation to the “big kid” dorms! We’re going to make it a really big deal for them and I am so excited!

We then went back home and practiced the music for the concert at the orphanage which is tomorrow! It should be really fun!

Busy busy! Please keep praying for Wiang Pa Pao!

Day 19

2009-05-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Today Ashley, David, and I woke up and headed to the Day market. This was a really cool cultural experience. It was humungous and spanned across several blocks! We tried some really good cultural food from the roadside J Mmmm… spring rolls, cut up mango, fried pork balls…

Ashley’s mom sent some money over for the orphans in the nursery and Ashley and I picked out new outfits for each of the littlest ones at Doi Saket 1! We are so excited to give them to them and dress them up all cute!

We went home for the afternoon to practice for the prison, but Tutu’s other sons never showed up for practice. We’ve learned to roll with the punches since being here. Even if something is planned, it really doesn’t mean it will happen. So… you just learn to be flexible J

We got some Mexican for dinner, which was great! Then went with Ashley to her Bible study that she goes to on Monday nights. This was awesome! It was just for “foreignors,” so there were no Thai people there. The room was filled with people from every other part of the world, though, it seemed… Norway, Denmark, England, America… it was really awesome to see so many different people joined together as one body of Christ in a foreign country! Each person was in Chiang Mai working with a different organization. Some were with Partners, International Justice Mission, Free Burma Rangers, some were teachers… it was really great! We are looking forward to next week!

Day 19

2009-05-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

I had my first bout with sickness

this morning. It wasn’t too bad, but prompted to chug some medicine before headin

g off to church.

Thankfully, God kept me healthy through the rest of the day.

We had church this morning. Church is held at the Prek Eng orphanage 1 for all of the orphanages in Chiang Mai. Once again, I am amazed by the staff workin

g at these orphanages. Along with all of their other duties, they completely put

together and run a full-blown church service every week for all of the orphans, the staff, and sometimes orphans that have “graduated” and are now at surrounding universities.

The worship is a lot like ours, and although they sing in Thai, they only sang one song I didn’t know! They sing contemporary Christian worship, just like at Crossroads! Crazy! A lot of the orphans did special music.

The orphans love the Lord so much. It was incredible to see them yell out and jump up and down praising Jesus. They are such incredible kids. Occasionally babies would wander around the aisles, haha.

They took communion and offering and then it was Eric and I’s turn to teach. Eric spoke on faith and did a really good job. He used the illustration of being on a soccer team and having faith in teammates and how we need to have that same faith in Jesus and to have a personal relationship with him. I built off of that and talked about trust.

Trust is something that God has been pounding into my head over the past year of my life. Specifically trust in decision-making and when we have to wait on him. I encouraged the orphans and staff that God is faithful and that his way is always better than ours. He is fully worthy of our trust, and even if he seems to not answer us right away, he never leaves or forsakes us.

It was interesting speaking through a translator. Tutu’s youngest son, David, translated. He did such a good job! When I was praying about speaking today, I realized how much room there was for God to work in what I was saying. I realized that the words I said would go through my mouth, through a translator and into the ears of people who could potentially take what was said a number of ways. There was so much room for God to work that it didn’t really make me too nervous to actually speak. I just prayed that God would twist the words to form whatever he wanted the group of people to hear. Because I don’t know! It was just a cool thought.

After speaking, I shared a song that I wrote. Music is a really big thing with the orphans, so that was a neat way to connect, even through a language barrier.

Anyways… after church, and playing with the kids, Tutu, Eric, Ashley, David, Birdy (a graduated orphan), and I went to get Callsoy for lunch. It was incredibly delicious, oh my! And I got some Thai iced tea, which was very interesting. Kind of tasted like cream of wheat and milk and tea all mixed together.

We all just rested through the afternoon. It was really nice. I really needed it. Ashley and I ran to the store in the evening to get some DV tapes for my video camera and to exchange some America money for baht. It is hilarious, though, because in Asia they only accept bills that are perfect and crip and not torn or marked on or anything! So I had a good looking bill, and it still got denied once because it was “too old” according to the date… ridiculous. But thankfully the second place we went coorporated.

We picked up dinner to go and some awesome fruit smoothies. It still surprises me how cheap stuff is here. We got dinner for three and three smoothies/ frappaccinos for probably 4 dollars. Woo!

When we got home (only Eric, Ashley, and I were home), t

he doorbell rang and movers from the music store had arrived to drop off all of the instruments for the upcoming concerts! Tutu has been saving u

p a long time to buy instruments and music equipment to use for ministry, prison outreach, and possibly a recording studio someday word has it? Maybe? J

Anyways, they unloaded and I couldn’t believe how much stuff we had! Brand new sound system, soundboard, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, mics, mic stands, music stands, amps, a drum set, a double kick pedal… I still don’t even think I got it all! So we are SO excited for the upcoming concert outreaches now! The prison concert got pushed to Wednesday, but another is not planned for the orphans Friday night! It is going to be so fantastic.

So we played the night away with all of the new equipment. Good day. God is so good and is blessing this ministry so much!

Day 18

2009-05-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today was a busy day. We didn't actually go to the orphanage, but spent time getting ready for all of the upcoming things in our internship!

Ashley and I literally practiced music all day! This evening an engaged couple came over for dinner to listen to us play music in order to approve if we could play at their wedding. We chose songs such as "I want to hold your hand," "Falling Slowly" by the Frames, "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds, "Come Away with Me" by Norah Jones, some songs by my band, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, and "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run. I am so tired of those songs after practicing all day!

In the midst of practicing, I made chocolate chip cookies for the guests tonight and also for Tutu and their family. Little pieces of American Culture like that taste so good!

We just spent a lot of time with Tutu's family today, it was really nice.

Then, dinner was served and four guests came over: the engaged couple (a German man and a Thai model) and a married couple (a British man and a Thai woman). It was so many cultures in one room it was crazy! it was so cool to talk to all of the people.

Ashley and I played our songs for the couple and received a big applause. The German man, Thomas, immediately said "You're hired!"

It was a good day, but I am so tired. And tomorrow will be another big day of musical preparation for the concert in the prison on Monday. Also... I need to go prepare a sermon for church tomorrow. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Day 17

2009-05-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

So, there must have been a misunderstanding as of why all of the children thought it was acceptable to put all sorts of nasty crawly bugs all over me and in my hair tonight. J

Today was the last day of English Camp, and pretty much all of the older kids were back in school, so it was a pre-school day! The little ones are so adorable!

It is crazy what these kids have been through so far and they are still so young! Pretty much all of the orphans are rescued out of the hill tribes, and the hill tribes have their own languages! So most of the kids don’t even know Thai when they come to live in the orphanages. One of the littlest girls (with a Mohawk) is still just trying to learn Thai. Talk about a hard transition!

But the kids are so good! It is incredible how well behaved they are. One of the littlest boys sometimes is a little hyper and overwhelming compared to the other kids, but when you consider their stories and what they have been through, it is amazing to see how good they really are. This little boy specifically had been abused by his father. And he is so young.

I helped Ashley cook the American lunch for the Campus Crusaders (spaghetti, garlic toast, salad, brownies...). It was so good!

After, the kids watched Kung-fu Panda, which is great. Disney movies are always more fun in Thai. Ashley and I spent some time cleaning the learning center building today. The kids have been in it all week and it was a mess! I asked her if her intern position had a “job description” or how all of the staff functioned in their tasks. She said for the most part people just did what needed to be done. And stuff just got done. They don’t really have set tasks.

I was around in the afternoon just to play with the kids. At Prek Eng 1 orphanage they have some fun play set stuff that they can play on. It was fun to run around with them.

The Campus Crusaders came back for dinner and provided a favorite Thai dish for all of the staff and orphans. I usually love spicy food, but this one was crazy hot! I’ve learned for the most part not to ask what I’m eating, but just to enjoy the taste. Eric and I learned the other day that one of our favorite dishes has the broth of pig blood. Oops.

After dinner the kids did some dances and sang some worship. Thank you’s were given for a good week and then all the orphans had ice cream! It was quite the event. But the evening was not done yet. We had FIREWORKS! And SPARKLERS!

It was a very good and very tiring day.

Day 16

2009-05-14T23:47:00.001-07:00

So, it has been a struggle since being in Thailand. The culture is very different even just from Cambodia. And even though Eric and I were on our own for most of the activities in Cambodia, we didn’t realize until now how much American “backbone” and organization we had while there. Since being in Thailand it has been hard to find a way to help with anything. The Thai’s communication is very indirect and they are the most hospitable people I have ever met! That is why without realizing it, we ended up at the mall watching a movie rather than at the orphanage helping with English camp. The communication was not clear and no one would tell us how to help or what they needed from us.

It has taken a couple days to transition to being here and to figure out how to be of any assistance. The children’s needs are being met by the orphanage staff. And they are incredible people! They have dedicated their lives to raising these orphans and they are doing an incredible job at it!

I’ve finally figured out how to get rides out to the orphanage at the beginning of each day, whether with Tutu, her son David, or the intern Ashley. Once here, though, unless Ashley tells me how to help, really you are on your own again to figure out where you could be useful. It has taken being very observant and also just feeling out what a normal day for the orphans is.

The campus crusade students are running English camp for the orphans, so the staff has gotten a bit of a break, which is great for them.

So…. With that being said. Today was a great day! It was really encouraging because I really feel that I am getting the hang of the culture and what my role in it is. I woke up early and came with Ashley so I could be present at the entire English camp. The orphans painted for one of their activities today and it was so adorable! They did such a good job! Some of them are really artistically talented! I saw that some of them were spilling some paint on the floor, so I grabbed a wash clothe from the kitchen and had officially specified my first job! I can’t tell you how much joy I had cleaning up the orphans’ mess. It allowed the Campus Crusade students to continue in the work they needed to do, while taking care of a job that one of the staff wouldn’t have to worry about later.

One responsibility that the staff still does have during this week of English camp, however, is cooking lunch for the campus crusaders. I helped with that! We cooked in the outdoor kitchen at the orphanage for a while. I peeled so many mangos that I lost count! It was fun to be a part of that process, though.

During movie time in the afternoon, I spent some time uploading my pictures onto facebook so that Crossroads would have them for their church service this weekend. I’m sorry that the pictures haven’t been working on here, but they are all up on facebook (of Cambodia at least), so feel free to check those out! I will try to start getting some up here as well.

Tutu picked Ashley and I up later. Her, Eric, and David had spent all day shopping around for instruments. We have a concert in a woman’s prison on Monday, and they have to buy a guitar, a bass guitar, a drum set, a P.A. and microphones, so they did a lot of shopping! Tutu has been saving up for these things for a long time to have for ministry, and now, because of the concert, is the time to buy them! So Eric has been able to help a lot with that. Tutu took us all to Thailand’s version of Walmart pretty much, haha, Carfour. Ashley and I picked up things to make spaghetti, brownies and cookies so that we could cook an English lunch for the Campus Crusade team tomorrow.

After we all got dinner. The food is SO cheap in Thailand! Eric and I both got a big dinner and water bottles for under $2! Crazy…

It was already pretty late by the time we got back to Tutu’s house. Ashley and I went over to Mike and Debbie’s house (other missionaries who are currently in the States) so that we could use their more powerful oven for baking. We made the brownies at night and spent time in the kitchen dancing and listening to music for the wedding that we have to prepare for!

So, although it has taken a few days to transition to Thai culture, I feel that I finally have gotten in the swing of things and it is great to feel that I am a help here. It really takes a lot of initiative. We are never given a list of tasks to do in a day. When we wake up we are responsible for getting where we want to go and once we get there (which is usually the orphanage for me) we are responsible to find how to help as best we can. Ashley has been an angel and I’ve talked with her extensively about allowing me to relieve her of some of her mundane responsibilities and we have a pretty good thing going now. Most of it has involved cooking lately.

But tomorrow is the last day of English camp and then next week all the orphans will be back in school! So the daily routine will be interrupted once again! We have a lot of music responsibilities to practice for! (the concert in the prison and the wedding). So we are starting to get busy already!

We found out that we will be sharing from the Bible or giving our testimony at the prison on Monday, so please pray that God will speak through us! Thank you so much for your prayers so far! They are helping so much!

Day 15

2009-05-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

We are a little over half way through our internship. That is really weird to think about. I feel that we have been gone a long time, but also that the past two weeks or so have been a complete blur. Hmm...

Today we went to Doi Saket 1 to help out with the English Camp again. The kids are really having a good time with this camp and the Campus Crusade people are doing a really great job. This afternoon we took the orphans swimming and they were really cute!

After English camp was over, Ashley, David, Eric, and I motoed up to the damn overlooking water and mountains. We ate at a restaurant on the side of a cliff pretty much and got steamed fish and papaya salad and fried shrimp! mmm!!

Tomorrow is the last day of full English Camp. Friday is only for the pre-schoolers! Tomorrow is also when we are supposed to start practicing the music for the prison concert this coming Monday and for the wedding at the end of the month!

Day 14

2009-05-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

Today was a change of pace yet again.

My mornings are usually spent with David because we are the only ones up :) We eat breakfast and talk and play piano in the kitchen, ha!

This morning, while plans were being figured out, we watched final fantasy VII. yay! Thai culture is hilarious. Originally today Eric and I were supposed to go with Tutu's sons to go buy a new guitar for the orphanage, but within 20 minutes, the plans changed 4 times! And before we knew it, we were in the car with Daniel (who hadn't even been home previously, he just showed up out of nowhere!) headed to an unknown destination. That was the new plan and we just were going along with it. That is really what a day looks like in Thailand usually. You wake up to find what the day awaits you- where people need you and what needs to be done. yet even then it will probably change several times before you actually get there!

Daniel took us to Chiang Mai for the day. He took us a to a huge mall there, and we went and saw the movie Wolverine! It was really fun! It was great to see that side of Thailand.

During the previews for the movie, there was a whole preview about the king and how great he was (which was super cheesy and pretty humerous), but the whole audience stood to honor him the whole time. Thailand loves their king so much! His picture is everywhere! He really doesn't hold very much governmental power, but is the face of Thailand. This king has been the longest reigning king that Thailand has ever had- I think he is about 78 years old! When he dies, his son will take over, but Daniel said that his son isn't a very good guy and most people don't like him.

The mall was very similar to the United States, but certain things were very different- like how the food court worked (you had to buy a prepaid credit card type thing to get food) or how you actually purchased a specific seat in the theater when you got your ticket (like a play in the states).

Thailand is very interesting because it is a very highly developed place (at least in the cities for the most part), yet the prices of things are so cheap! They are similar to prices of third world countries. It is such a confusing country. I can't figure it out.

We got starbucks today! Mmmm!

After the mall, we went and picked up Daniel's girlfriend and headed to a really neat second-hand outdoor market/store thing. There literally were piles of clothes covering the ground. You had to walk on top of them to get to the area you wanted to look through. It was so crazy though because Eric found a mid-ohio race track T-shirt in the dinky second-hand store in the middle of Chiang Mai, Thailand! Crazy! We laughed so hard.

On the way home we stopped and got some Thai noodles on the side of the road. They were absolutely delicious! And then we tried crepes for dessert. But these aren't normal US fruit-filled crepes. Oh no. These were filled with sugar, egg, tuna, and ham/hotdogs. But they were absolutely delicious! Very different, but really really good. They were very sweet still somehow.

The culture here (as far as plans changing) and the Thai time (as far as never being on time) are exactly what the stereotypes say. But I really have learned to love it. It is so relaxed.

One thing that I have really paid attention to since being here is how adults in the mission field's families are run. I think that is one of the primary things I am worried about when considering missions work. it's been great to talk to John McCullum and to observe how individuals decide when to come and for how long and how they stay in touch with their families back home, etc... Good stuff for sure :)

Day 13

2009-05-11T07:00:00.001-07:00

This morning we got to sleep in at tutu's until David took us to the Doi Saket orphanage for English Camp! A group of young adults were work for Campus Crusade in Chiang Mai are leading all of the Thai Asia's Hope orphans in an English Camp this week! It was really awesome to talk to those involved and to hear their stories and how they got to Thailand and where they came from. They've been here about two years.

The orphans learned some English and practiced writing their names in English and such. They drew pictures and played water games in the heat.

After spending time at the orphanage, Eric, Ashely, Tutu and I ate dinner at this awesome pizza place. Western food tasted SO good.

Tutu lives in a really nice house here in Thailand- it is absolutely beautiful. But things are not always as they seem. Tutu told us a little of her story today. Tutu sold her house originally to build an orphanage. During that time, Tutu lived in a tent. It wasn't until a man from California came and realized that she was in a tent that an effort was made to get her back in a home. It was then organized to buy her house back.

Tutu always talks about how much God has blessed her. She told us that in the Bible it says to help those in need and God will bless you. So she did, but never expected God to give her her house back.

I know the story told on here doesn't seem very powerful, but it hit me really hard. Being here has again prompted me to try to figure out my future. I am in a place right now in my life where I just have no idea where I'm going to end up, and that is scary and extremely uncomfortable and I hate it! But if I seek to do what God tells me to do, he WILL take care of me. Even when I do not expect him to at all, he will completely exceed my expectations.

It's all about trust. I feel this is something that God has been trying to teach me throughout this whole past year, I just haven't grasped it yet. I"m a slow learner :)

But Tutu is an incredible testimony to me. She trusted God completely and obeyed what he said to do, and she has been so incredibly blessed for it. It's just awesome to see how faithful God is and how willing Tutu is to follow him even without ever expecting to be repaid.

Day 12

2009-05-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

We got up early this morning and went to the airport. The flights were so short compared to the ones we have previously been taking!

When we arrived in Thailand, Ashley, Tutu, Star (on a trip from Canada) and a bunch of the orphans were there to pick us up! It was so exciting! We all piled in the truck and drove (on the opposite side of the road) to Tutu's house where we unpacked and got settled in.

Her house is so nice. She lives in what looks like a florida resort! haha- we're not struggling at all here.

I had some time to catch up with Ashley and it was so nice and so needed! We talked about life and she talked about her adjustment to living here and some of the things she's been through. She's amazing. And Star has been great to get to know too!

We popped in at each of the orphanages in Doi Saket (1,2, and 3) then went and got dinner. The food is a lot safer here than it is in Cambodia, so we don't have to be as careful or as worried.

After dinner we went to the walking market and looked around. Thailand is very different than Cambodia. We got delicious banana and chocolate waffles!! mmm!

Thailand is a really confusing place. it is one of the most mixed culture I have ever seen! It is as if the rural and the urban has collided! There are rich houses and poor shacks intermixed throughout the city of Chiang Mai. It is so strange...

Anyways.. busy busy busy. I'll update more later!

Day 11

2009-05-09T18:36:00.001-07:00

Today we spent all day with Srey Mao and her cousin!

We went to Tuol Sleng first. Tuol Sleng was an school that was turned into a concentration camp/ torture center/ prison during the Khmer Rouge Regime. This was my second time going, but it’s not something that one can just get used to. We got to see the rooms the people were held in, the weapons they were tortured with, and the methods in which they died. We saw their clothes, their bones, and a picture of the face of each and every person killed in that camp. I cannot even believe that something like this happened such a short time ago. I don’t understand how humanity is capable of such an embarrassment.

There was a book in one of the rooms where people can write a response to what they had seen, and it was so awesome to see people unite so strongly against something. Within two pages I saw people from Germany, Ireland, Australia, Cambodia and many other countries who were moved enough to write. It was a really cool thing.

After that (although it’s hard to just so quickly move on), we all went to the Russian Market and got lots of cool things J

After a delicious late lunch of American style stir fry, Srey Mao and her cousin dropped us of at an internet café to figure out the details for our flight. When they came to pick us up, they had ditched the Asia’s Hope van and were both on motos.

Eric and I hopped on the back of the motos and Mao and her cousin took us to the “riverside.” In Cambodia, the “place to go” to hang out is usually at parks or central outside places. Many people gather to eat, play games, or just hang out. Another common thing in Cambodia, which I think is hilarious, is that in these outdoor gathering places, there are always big, professionally led and regular meeting, work out groups. People just do ridiculous dance/work outs in these big gathering places and it looks hilarious! So, Mao and her cousin took us to see “the riverside” and then just drove us around the city for a while. When you get into the heart of Phnom Penh, one could almost forget that you’re in a third world country (until you see the garbage everywhere or the wandering children or beggars). Some of the buildings are beautiful! We drove by the King’s Palace- which is awesome!

Finally, they took us to a huge stadium which was originally built for the Olympics I guess. Tons and tons of people were there playing every sport you can think of- volleyball, tennis.. and lots of soccer! It was really cool, and a lot of people our age were there just to hang out. Around the top of the stadium there were tons and tons of work-out groups. We sat and watched some of the people working out for a while, haha.

They took us back to the guesthouse after our tour of the city and we made some more grilled cheese. Mao’s cousin had never had it before, but I think she really liked it! Dairy is NOT a part of Cambodian’s diet and cheese is actually really expensive over there compared to other things. Milk is also a rarity, and they only have a kind that is cooked longer than ours, or something, and supposedly tastes really different. Dairy is definitely the biggest difference in our diets because it virtually is not a part of their diet at all. Our grilled cheese is probably what has upset our stomachs the most so far, haha, imagine that!

It’s sad to have to say goodbye to new friends already… again! We stayed up and played cards for a while and watched some TV.

But before we knew it it was off to bed and on to Thailand…

Days 9 and 10

2009-05-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

Day 9- May 7, 2009

Saying goodbye was way worse than I had anticipated. We got up early to catch the orphans before they went to school. We just stood and played with them for a little while, but when the time came for us to catch our bus, the tears came. I think their cook was the first one to start crying. She was awesome and had hung out every time we were around, but I was surprised she was so upset that we were leaving. As the orphans realized what was going on, most of them became really emotional too. It was so hard to leave them.

Our bus left Battambang at 7:30 a.m. I had been extremely worried about getting sick for this 5-6 hour bus ride and not having anywhere to go to the bathroom! But God was so good and kept Eric and I very healthy. The bus was an old charter bus and was actually really nice. It stopped several times, and it was kind of confusing because everyone knew when to get on and off and where to go, etc. Luckily, there was a really nice lady who spoke English who guided Eric and I through the pit stops! The bus had a TV in the front that played cheesy music videos and stuff the whole way to Phnom Penh, haha, it was great!

When we got to Phnom Penh we were surrounded by moto drivers who wanted our business. It was kind of overwhelming. Savorn picked us up, though, and we finally we got to the Phnom Penh guesthouse. We had several hours to just rest and it was really nice and really needed. Unlike Battambang, in Phnom Penh we don’t have as much freedom because it is a lot more dangerous.

Savorn picked us up in the evening to take us to get groceries in the “supermarket.” It really is a big mall, with a grocery store on the frist floor. It is really nice and looks a lot like a mall from the States. They had a lot of American fashions all throughout the mall. Really expensive brands, like Levi, Hollister, Gucci, etc were everywhere and extremely cheap! They are very skeptical of people stealing in their mall, however, and no pictures are allowed inside at all. Also, before we were allowed into the grocery area, we had to leave our bags at a bag check!

When we got back to the guesthouse, Eric and I made a spaghetti dinner w/ sautéed mushrooms and dragonfruit! Mmm! Srey Mao, a 24 year old student employed my Asia’s Hope, teaches English at the Christian School and lives at and cleans the guesthouse. She got home while we were eating and joined us for some dinner. We spent time together last time I was here and it was really good to get to see her again! She is so crazy J

Our evenings will be spent inside for the most part. Phnom Penh is a huge city compared to Battambang. Although Battambang is the second largest city in Cambodia, it oly has about 30,000 people compared to Phnom Penh which has over 2 million. Savorn told us that in the past 5 years it has grown from 1 million to over 2 million due to rural people moving to the city looking for jobs.

It’s a very big, crowded, and noisy city. From our rooms in the guesthouse, we can always hear everyone around us- their talking, music, TV’s, construction, animals, everything! It is a very noisy place.

Day 10- May 8, 2008

Savorn picked us up from the guesthouse at 9 this morning and took us to the internet café so we could make sure our tickets were all ready for our flight to Chiangmai Sunday. While we were there, and in the middle of emails (that monk emailed me!!!), the electricity went out. The electricity goes out all the time in Cambodia, usually because of the overloaded use in the extreme heat. It goes out at the guesthouse all the time too (once while I was in the shower!). Luckily this internet café had a generator that kicked on after a few minutes, but usually life has to be put on pause until the electricity comes back on.

We visitied the Asia’s Hope Christian School today. The children had a few songs that they performed for us when we got there, and then we just played. I recognized many of the orphans from my first trip to Cambodia and it was incredible to see them again! The school had also moved locations since I had been there last, and the new one is so nice! Battambang doesn’t have a Christian school, and the orphans told us that they get persecuted for following Jesus. It is such a great thing that we have one in Phnom Penh.

We went to one of the Prek Eng orphanages for a big Khmer lunch! It was so good. I really am starting to get the hang of how they eat. There are just big bowls of Khmer food in the middle of the table and each person is given a bowl of rice. As you eat, you just take little bits from the center plates as you eat. You never fill your plate completely at the beginning and work your way through your plate. You take little by little from the center dishes. Also, America goes way overboard with their food rules! In Cambodia, the chicken eggs are never refrigerated and no one ever gets sick! This is one among many things that are not necessary in America. The food is delicious here.

After lunch we went back to the school and taught in one of the younger classrooms. They wanted us to teach them a new song, so we taught them “I love you Lord.” We explained what the words meant and taught them the melody with motions to go with it. Then we played bingo!

Shortly, we left. We went back to the guesthouse to wait for Srey Mao. When she got there, we got a tuk-tuk and went back to the mall for some shopping! It was really fun to look at everything, as well as just hang out with Mao. She is so hilarious! She told some of the workers that Eric was her boyfriend and flirted with him the whole time- always telling him how handsome he was J haha.

Then we came back and all three of us made grilled cheese sandwiches (yuuuummmm), sautéed white mushrooms, spiky looking lychee fruit, fresh mango, and leftover spaghetti! The electricity went out for a pretty long time after dinner, so we just played guitar and sang until bed.

I love Srey Mao. I hate how you just start to get close to someone and then it is already time to move on.

I thought I was starting to pick up on some symptoms of culture shock… I started feeling very tired all the time, even when I knew I was getting a lot of sleep, and wanted to go back to the guesthouse rather than stay with the kids at the Christian School and things like that. I know that excessive sleeping and wanting to retreat from the people a lot can sometimes mean culture shock, so I checked myself. But hanging out with Srey Mao has been a really nice shift. I absolutely love the children with all of my heart, but being with someone our own age has been really refreshing! I think I’m fine J

Day 8

2009-05-06T07:54:00.001-07:00

Today was incredible! Savy and his family picked Eric and I up at 9 a.m. in a rented van and we took off to another province outside of Battambang. We went into the heart of rural Cambodia. We drove on road 10, which used to have an extensive amount of land mines that they just in the past year or so finally completely cleared out.

They took us to three different places, but I can’t say any of their names! Simpeou Mountain, another mountain and a lake.

The first mountain we went to had a beautiful temple that we visited. There were monks and nuns at this temple. We didn’t talk to any of them this time. There was a specific tree fenced off that the people worshipped. I asked why, and Channa said something about Buddha sitting under a tree meditating, but I didn’t know if she meant that was the tree he sat under or what made that particular tree so special and sacred.

Next we went to another mountain. This was the mountain that the Khmer Rouge used during the regime. Savy explained on the way there that he used to be a soldier and that being stationed in this province was how me met his wife! He now works for the Lord, though, he said.

We climbed probably a thousand stairs before we got to the entrance of the area. There were huge guns/cannons in this mountain. There were beautiful, intricate temples and statues every few yards it seemed!! There also were many caves that were amazing! Many of the caves were used to throw dead bodies in during the regime. One in particular had a hole in the top where the bodies were thrown through. In the bottom, where we were, there were cases holding some of the bones. There were stairs going even lower into the darkness, but Simon said that it is said that people can go down, but they will never come back up. Many people believe that there are spirits all around because of the deaths. Most believe in ghosts.

We came to an area where there was a gigantic Buddha statue, and all around it were wild monkeys! I have never seen monkeys in the wild before! That’s when I realized that we really were in the jungle. We were at a high altitude on a mountain in rural Cambodia! We threw bananas to them and it was so crazy to watch them swarm and run around!

One thing that I noticed today more than ever is that it is acceptable to litter. People just throw their garbage wherever they want. Even in very sacred areas of worship or by very sacred statues, there is trash everywhere! It is just so unusual to me.

It is cultural here for friends to hold hands. It doesn’t mean anything inappropriate if the same sex hold hands, like it does in the states sometimes. So, Channa and I held hands a lot throughout the day today, and I decided that I really like that a lot. Especially when there is a little bit of a language barrier (although she speaks great English), it is just a great way to bond and have friendship.

I really wish loading picture would work so that you all could see some of the incredible pictures of the temples in the mountains….

After an exhausting day of climbing up and down the mountain, we went to the lake. There we rented a little hut and ate a massive lunch on a mat on the floor. God has blessed me with a love for different foods. Every meal has rice and today we had a whole chicken (head, claws and all), a whole fish(head, scales and all), and beef (kind of like beef jerky) to go with it! They also ordered more food from surrounding “vendors”. I really don’t know where the food came from though. They got papaya salad (which is very spicy and hard on our stomachs, but very good!!), BBQ beef (or something), and rabbit soup, that we came to find was made with spoiled meat. Fruit is always for dessert, and is my favorite part! Today we had lychee and mangosteins!!! MMMM!!!

After exploring a little, we all got in our hammocks and took afternoon naps by the lake! It was so nice and relaxing!

We parted ways for an hour or so and then met back up, along with Kaillie and the Kanes, and had dinner at the Bungalow!! (local restaurant mentioned a few days ago…) It was a really great time full of laughter and good food! We had Savy’s family try American food for the first time! This restaurant serves both American and Khmer food, so we ordered French fries, cheeseburgers and spaghetti for them to try and they really liked it (or else were really good at lying J )!!

Tomorrow we leave Battambang, and I can’t believe it is already time for our first goodbyes… We are getting up very early to say bye to the orphans before they go to school. Yikes… Channa and I have gotten very close and it is going to be hard to part ways with her. We traded rings tonight and promised to pray for each other. We call each other sister now.

It’s going to be really hard to leave.

Day 7

2009-05-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today after breakfast, Kaillie, Eric and I took a walk around the block by our hotel, but quickly returned due to the unbearable heat. Eric and I sat outside the hotel and talked for a while with one of the workers. We are building relationships with a few of the workers. He helped us with a few Khmer words and phrases and it was really nice to talk to him.

After talking with him, Eric and I went across the street to the Buddhist Temple. We were told the monks there are very eager to speak English with foreigners, so we approached the dorms where they stay. Immediately a man walked over and asked us a language question. Before we knew it, we were seated in the middle of a circle of eager-to-learn Buddhist monks. We spoke with them about their culture and our culture. They were very interested in language and asked us about English, how much Khmer we knew, and about how we knew Spanish and French as well. They were very friendly. We asked them if they could tell us about Buddhism, but they said they only knew how to explain in Khmer. We talked extensively with four of them, Thorn Bunsok (a monk student), Khem Chanratha, a Thai teacher and and English teacher in the monastery. We got the contact information of Bunsok. He taught us the Khmer alphabet and answered a lot of our questions. They asked about our religion and we were eager to share that we were Christians, but they were so much more interested in our language that the topic was quickly changed. Later, an older English teacher in the monastery came to talk to us and invited us to come back tomorrow so that we could talk to him class! I am so excited to get to speak with them again! Begin praying for these people! Especially Bunsok! We have Bunsok’s email and will be able to stay in touch with him after we leave. That is so incredible to me.

We were picked up at 4 to go to BB3 again today. When we got there, we ate un unplanned meal right with the orphans, rather than the director’s family. And if we are going to get sick from food, this meal would be the one to do it! There were fish eggs and pork stuff and tastes that I never knew existed. It was pretty good though, and really fun to eat with the kids.

After dinner, all the kids loaded into a tuk-tuk and we all went to the park by the river! We played in the grass there for hours! There were two clowns who put on a funny how that we all watched. It was great J

After playing, we hooked up with Jill Kane. We went to her home for dinner. Her home is so beautiful! She made us tacos for dinner, and it tasted so good after to much rice and Khmer food! We ate on the floor and talked for several hours about Cambodian culture. She told us about the wedding ceremonies and her experiences teaching the people about Christ.

Fun, but exhausting, day!

Day 6

2009-05-04T08:58:00.001-07:00

We said our goodbyes to Pastor Bob this morning. He and Kevin Kane left for Siem Reip while the rest of us stayed behind in Battambang. We had a very relaxed start to our day. We were blessed with plenty of time to catch up on journaling and tend to the first encounter of queasy stomachs. Luckily they didn’t last.

Eric and I went with Savorn, Savy and John Campbell to buy cell phones and moto helmets today. My cell phone is pink and ultra-Asian! Ha, it’s fantastic! We’ll leave the cell phones behind in Phnom Penh before we fly to Chiangmai, but they’ll aid in our communication while we are here in Cambodia.

After having lunch at the restaurant at the home of the wealthy familiy I spoke of yesterday, Eric, Kaillie and I went to the market. We took a tuk-tuk for the first time today. Today was extremely hot and the market was hot, sticky and smelly. There are always beggars roaming through the market and it is hard to turn them away. Every time we’ve been to the market so far we have seen other white individuals. Usually they are from Europe, but I always wonder what their stories are and why they are in Battambang, Cambodia.

At four, Eric and I were supposed to be picked up from our hotel to go to BB3. However, Simon, the orphanage director’s son, was on Cambodian time and didn’t show up until about 4:30. It really was ok, though. Eric and I sat outside and talked with some of the hotel workers. Eric has become pretty good friends with the desk worker and they helped us with a few Khmer phrases. One of the workers offered to let Eric use his moto! Now there’s some trust…

I am a very time-oriented, check-list, always on the go kind of person and thought that switching to a relationship oriented way of life would be a lot tougher than it has been. Really, I have found that I absolutely love their laid back way of life. There are no worries! Life is so much more stress-free and enjoyable. It has been great and an easy adjustment to make, thankfully.

When we got to the orphanage, we were attacked by all 24 of BB3’s kids. They are so great. We have the best orphanage! It was awesome this time knowing that my family just specifically started sponsoring Senghong. We haven’t told her yet, but it was fun to watch her J

We played some relay races with the kids and it was hilarious. Most of the time we created them just to make the kids do things that looked funny J We were all laughing so hard. I taught Simon says to some of the younger orphans, not remembering at first that the orphan director’s son, who was translating for me, was named Simon. So that made things a little confusing at first, but everything was soon cleared up! Ha!

We had dinner at the orphanage tonight, which was awesome! The orphans ate out back, but Eric and I ate in the front with the director’s family. Savy, the director, wasn’t there, but we ate with his wife and three kids. The food was delicious. It was the first time, though, that we were eating not knowing if the food was “safe” for us Americans or not. I think we’ll be ok, but we’ll find out for sure soon enough… We really still don’t know the proper way to eat. It’s different from in the States because you all take little bits off of the main center dishes as you go. The meal consisted of lots of observing and lots of imitating. We ended up sitting and talking with them for almost two hours. It was some of the best time I feel we have spent with them yet since being here. We got to ask them about the specific needs of their orphanage and found that it is very likely that our church can meet their needs! We also found out about how they came to be orphanage directors. A while ago, some orphans ran away from another local orphanage because they wanted to be a part of Asia’s Hope’s orphanage and they stayed with Savy’s family. Channa said it was a very hard time because they got in trouble with the law. Eventually, somehow things got sorted out however and now their family leads BB3 of Asia’s Hope! It was just really good to get to know these people better. They are so wonderful!!!

After dinner, we gave the kids some candy and they were so excited. The funniest thing happened, and I’ll do my best to explain. There is this one boy who for some reason just cracks me up. He just has the goofiest grin and is so funny. Anyways, the kids were told they could take one big piece of candy and two small pieces of candy out of the bag as we walked by, and they were really good about it! Well, when it was this boy’s turn, he decided that his big piece of candy was going to be a Peep, but when he pulled it out, the Peep had two Sprees stuck to the side of the marshmallow, which meant that in one grab he had filled his three pieces of candy limit. He didn’t do anything, but just looked up at me, horrified at the predicament he was now in. I don’t think I have stopped laughing yet- it was just so funny because I knew exactly what had happened. I let him get another piece of candy- no worries J

The kids did more dances for us and then Eric and I played some music that the kids danced to for a while. Time flew tonight though and before we knew it, it was time to come back to the hotel.

All of the leaders will go back to Phnom Penh tomorrow. Eric and I are more and more on our own each day. We are doing well and learning our way around town a bit. We only have two days left in Battambang- I can’t believe it, and we have lots of plans with the BB3 kids and the orphanage director’s family.

I can’t wait to fill you in on them as we go!!

Day 5

2009-05-03T07:57:00.001-07:00

Today was church! All of us Westerners packed into a small room with 150 orphans and sang worship to Jesus! Each orphanage performed a specials something, either song or dance. It takes about two weeks for them to learn the dances that they perform and they do them every week!! So much work! They were so adorable J

It was really fun. I sat with girls from BB3 and it is just really excited to continue to make relationships. I was thinking today about how much of a difference it has made this trip having an orphanage sponsored by my church compared to last time. What it does it really give you an excuse to pay more attention to some of the orphans than others, as awful as that sounds. But Asia’s Hope has an overwhelming amount of orphans, and having an orphanage connected specifically to my church allows me to build deeper relationships, rather than a large number of shallow ones. It also ensures that the relationships will be lasting, which encourages me to invest a lot more into them. Especially Channa, the orphanage director’s daughter. She is incredible and is the orphan’s English teacher even though she is only 17! We’ve been spending a lot of time together.

After church, we got a little bit of a taste of Cambodian culture. We went into this trip with a lot of things unplanned. I usually am a very “planned” individual, but right away realized that being laid back is the key to this culture. It really hasn’t been difficult at all to adapt to. But we finally talked today and decided on the dates to fly to Chiangmai and when we’re going to go back to Phnom Penh.

After our meeting, Eric, John Campbell, Pastor Bob, Kaillie, the Canes and I went to a little restaurant not far from our hotel. It was owned and run by a wealthy family who is in the process of turning their house into a kind of bed and breakfast. We toured what they are currently building as well as the inside of their house and holy cow!! It’s strange to come to a third world country and see a house that is nicer than yours!! I was blown away. And lunch was great! It was my first meal of curry J Mmm!!

I talked to the Canes about what developmental issues they think are most prominent in this part of Cambodia. Jill Cane started thinking about it and said we can talk more about it later. I’m really looking forward to that conversation.

Eric and I walked to the market today. It was great. It is interesting how many stares we get when we go anywhere. No one says anything to us, but we stick out blatantly everywhere we go. Often little kids will run up and say hi. That’s my favorite J The market was crazy as usual and full of smells that I really cannot even describe. I’m just thankful that I wasn’t feeling sick at the time because they probably would have pushed me over the edge.

After the market, Savy picked us up on his moto and took us to BB3 where Eric and I hung out with our orphans! We did some video for the church and Eric played some soccer. When it started to rain, the kids did dances and dramas for us. We finished the night playing some music.

We’re staying in Battambang for several more days while most of the others go back to Phnom Penh. I’m so glad… I love our kids. Tomorrow we are joining them for dinner J

Until then….

Day 4

2009-05-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

Today has been so fun. The BB 4 orphanage was dedicated today and boy was there a celebration! All 150 orphans of the 5 orphanages located in Battambang gathered together today in a huge tent that they had all been decorating for the past 3 days. There was a long service filled with singing, dancing, Scripture reading, and gift giving. Finally, the red ribbon was cut and everyone had a big lunch! The food was really interesting- a whole fish, a whole chicken, chicken foot soup and some stir-fried beef with sticky rice. It was really good! We got to experience how to eat in a Cambodian setting- everyone just eats off of the main dishes. It was really fun and community was quickly built. Initially, Eric and I saw down at a table with some of the orphans, but we quickly learned that this was culturally unacceptable and were moved to eat with the adults where better food was served.

Eric and I got to meet the BB 3 kids today! This is the orphanage that our church just started sponsoring! They all knew who we were and were so excited to meet us! Saviy is the orphan director. His wife’s name is Sem, his 17-year-old daughter is Channa, his middle son is Simon, and his youngest son is… something I cannot spell J. Channa speaks really good English and was so fun! I can’t wait to go spend some time at their orphanage getting to know them better.

Today was the first time that we got to see the orphans and it was so incredible. I just am overwhelmed with love for this country and its culture. I forgot how much I loved it. I have missed it so much.

On the way back to the orphanage, Kevin Cane stopped and showed us one of their micro-enterprise projects. This particular family grew mushrooms, which is the most successful crop grown in Cambodia usually. Kevin explained how the micro-enterprise loans were made from an organization in the US, but that he and his wife, Jill, were the ones who actually did the “on the ground” work here in Cambodia, intervening between the organization and the individuals receiving the loans. Some of the criteria that the individuals had to meet were being faithful in their Christian walk and writing up a one-page proposal of how they will be faithful financially. Most of the individuals receiving loans have undergone some sort of training on how the micro-enterprise system works. Usually the loans are $100, but Kevin said that just recently they changed it to being $200 if the individuals have been faithful in their payments for a certain amount of time.

He also explained how other missionaries had done surveys in the area to determine how many people had certain illnesses, such as Malaria, using the “ten-stone system.” Basically, the missionaries would ask people in villages how many out people they knew out of ten with malaria and if they grabbed three stones that would equal 10%... or something along those lines.

After an afternoon of rest, we grabbed some dinner and went back to the orphanage for a huge party! They had a loud sound system and played rap and techno music and we, along with 150 orphans, had a massive dance party! I couldn’t believe it! It was so much fun and was an instant way to bond. I danced mostly with the BB3 kids and Channa and Sem. It was so, so much fun.

We ended the night with fireworks!!

Really, I’ve just been reminded what really matters. God. And sharing God. And worshipping God. It’s really quite simple. But so often we complicate matters. I of all people put a huge emphasis on education and knowledge and discussions and theology etc, etc… But it is incredible how even after being here for just a few days, and stepping out of the routine and business of American life, how quickly and easily you are reminded of how simple life really is. Love God and Love others. Obey what he says. Realize you are nothing and let him work through you.

I don’t want this to turn into a cliché “missions trip” blog entry- but this is truly the first lesson I have gained, other than re-realizing the power of prayer. As soon as I have been pulled away from my hobbies and passions and what consumes my time, I am left simply asking God what he wants me to do- I’m in a culture that I am not proficient in so I really don’t have a clue what to do on my own. And I realize that that is how it really is supposed to work.

P.S.- I would put pictures up, but the internet in Battambang isn't good enough to put them up yet!! Hopefully soon though!

Day 3

2009-05-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

It is incredible how much better one can feel after a simple shower.

This has possibly been one of the longest days of my entire life. After landing in Taipei, we quickly, and successfully, transferred to our last flight to Phnom Penh (after having a small pair of scissors confiscated from my carry-on… woops!). As soon as we stepped off of that last plane, we were hit by a wave of heat and the overwhelming smell of Cambodia. Cambodia’s smell is not a bad one, but very distinct and brought with it many many memories.

It is so good to be back.

We stopped by the Phnom Penh guesthouse to meet up with the others, then got into a car for a 5 hour car ride to Battambang, Cambodia’s second largest city. Really, it wasn’t bad. We were definitely tired, but Cambodia’s countryside is beautiful and mesmerizing and held our attention all 5 hours. Rural Cambodia is full of rice paddies, wandering cows (that cross the road at very inconvenient times), shacks, schools, small stores, and Buddhist Pagodas. Kaillie, a 21 year old girl from Wooster, is interning with Asia’s Hope right now too and it was awesome to have the opportunity to meet and get to know her! Along the way, we were introduced to the fruit produced by the Lotus Flower. They tasted a little like pistachios and were a fun first adventure. The roads were rough, but we finally arrived at beautiful Battambang- greeted by the massive statue of the “man with the stick,” after which Battambang was named.

We arrived at the famous Teo Hotel, which previously has housed Jackie Chan and Angelina Jolie. I quickly remembered the unique aspects of Cambodian culture- Bathrooms are just one room with no distinction between toilet area or shower. This means that everything is wet all the time for the most part. Also, squatty potties. Our hotel has American toilets, but everywhere else for the most part are the glorious porcelain holes in the ground. I really don’t mind them much, however- they really are quite sanitary. Flickering lights- the lights can never simply “flick on,” although they seemed to have sped up since I was here last time. I was overjoyed to discover that the Teo Hotel now has wireless internet! No more internet cafes!! (Well, at least until we go back to Phnom Penh) But this definitely was a perk to my evening.

Finally, we had dinner with a missionary couple from Wooster who have been working in Battambang for over three years now. It was really incredible to hear their story of how they came to know Christ and how they came to live in Cambodia. “Always avoid always and never say never!” This is a good phrase to remember when praying, as we learned from their story.

Overall, it really was an awesome reminder of the power of prayer. I am really looking forward to getting to know those two individuals better. They also are involved in teaching English and some micro-enterprise opportunities!

Well, I’m exhausted. Tomorrow is a very busy day.

Much love!

Day 1 (or two?)

2009-04-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

Traveling. It really is nothing glamorous. Planes are fun, and it’s been great to learn how to navigate through airports on my own, but I’m ready to be back on the ground. China Airline is fantastic, though! Compared to Continental, it really is quite the experience J Delicious hot meals, personal entertainment computers, polite stewardesses… it really is great. We will be landing in Taipei in a little over an hour, following a five-hour flight from Cleveland to L.A., and the 13 hour international flight that I am currently on right now. We’ll have to hurry to get on the next plane. I think we have less than an hour in the airport to make it through customs and onto the next plane, which I am a little nervous about. But I’m sure it will be fine.

Health is what concerns me the most when it comes to traveling. Really, it is the one fear that casts doubts in my mind when thinking about the work I really feel called to do. We have more medicine with us than I think I have ever seen in one place before. And if we are smart, I know we will be fine.

We already had a bit of a scare on the international flight. Eric passed out in his seat. He is fine, and it probably was due to dehydration or simply sitting for too long, but it was a good reminder that we need to take care of ourselves really well.

Also, a lady who helped Eric and I when he passed out was going to use the plane’s bathroom, when another woman walked in with her and tried to shut the door with both of them in there against her will. Luckily, Eric and I were right next to the bathroom and saw what was happening. I held the door open until a stewardess could come diffuse the situation.

Bizarre stuff let me tell you. And we haven’t even landed in Asia yet J